For decades, we’ve been fed a consistent message: monogamous relationships represent the gold standard of romantic fulfillment. This belief runs so deep that researchers have now given it a name—the “monogamy-superiority myth.” It’s a belief that has shaped personal choices, public policies, and professional practices, despite remarkably little evidence supporting the claim.
A new review published in The Journal of Sex Research directly challenges this assumption with data from nearly 25,000 individuals. The findings? When it comes to both relationship and sexual satisfaction, there’s virtually no difference between people in monogamous relationships and those in consensually non-monogamous arrangements.
This extensive review, led by Joel R. Anderson of La Trobe University, represents the first comprehensive analysis comparing satisfaction levels across different relationship structures. The findings effectively challenge the notion that non-monogamous relationships are somehow lacking or less fulfilling than monogamous ones.
The Persistence of Monogamy as the ‘Ideal’
Western society has long operated under the assumption that monogamy is not just normal, but optimal. This belief has been reinforced through cultural messages, religious teachings, and even healthcare practices. People in non-monogamous relationships often face judgment, discrimination, and the assumption that their relationship choices indicate personal problems or instability.
The research team identified several reasons these beliefs persist. For many, monogamy is seen as a moral choice guided by religion or cultural norms. It’s often viewed as “normal” and beneficial because it allows people to avoid stigma. Monogamous relationships are frequently assumed to result in better health outcomes, greater stability, and even better intimacy—assumptions the new research directly contradicts.
‘Monagamish’ Relationships Are Better?
The researchers examined studies conducted between 2007 and 2024, mostly in Western countries like the United States, Canada, and Australia. This body of research included diverse participants across sexuality and gender identity, though most samples were predominantly white.
Non-monogamy in these studies covered various relationship structures, including:
- Polyamory: maintaining several loving relationships at once
- Open relationships: agreements allowing sex outside the primary relationship
- Swinging: partners engaging in outside sexual activities together, often at organized events
- “Monogamish” arrangements: mostly monogamous relationships with occasional agreed-upon exceptions
Across these diverse relationship structures, the analysis found that monogamous and non-monogamous people reported basically identical levels of both relationship and sexual satisfaction. This pattern held true regardless of participants’ sexuality, with both straight and LGBTQ+ samples showing no significant differences.
Some interesting details emerged when researchers looked at specific types of non-monogamous arrangements. People in “monogamish” relationships reported slightly higher relationship satisfaction than those in strictly monogamous relationships. Similarly, polyamorous individuals and swingers reported somewhat higher sexual satisfaction than their monogamous counterparts.
Another surprising finding emerged when researchers examined different aspects of relationship satisfaction. Non-monogamous individuals actually rated trust higher than monogamous individuals, while scoring equally on commitment, intimacy, and passion. This challenges the common assumption that non-monogamous relationships necessarily involve less trust or commitment.
Study authors suggest that non-monogamous relationships might actually strengthen certain relationship skills. The nature of managing multiple relationships might encourage people to put more effort into communication, openness, and understanding—all key components of trust.
Changing Norms?
Despite the stigma and discrimination that non-monogamous people often face, their reported satisfaction matched or sometimes exceeded those of monogamous individuals.
The research team offers several explanations for these findings. Non-monogamous relationships may allow people to experience more variety and freedom. These structures let people have different needs met by different partners, whereas monogamous individuals must find all their needs satisfied by one person. Research also indicates that non-monogamy can encourage personal growth and independence, which may boost relationship and sexual satisfaction.
These findings matter for therapists, counselors, and other healthcare professionals who work with non-monogamous clients. Previous studies have shown that healthcare practitioners sometimes view non-monogamy as a problem or sign of trouble, making assumptions that can damage the therapeutic relationship.
For the roughly 5% of adults currently in non-monogamous relationships—and the approximately 20% who have tried consensual non-monogamy at some point—these findings validate that their relationship choices can lead to satisfying, fulfilling partnerships.
It’s worth noting that while these results show equal satisfaction across relationship structures, they don’t suggest any particular relationship style is right for everyone. Personal preferences, values, and needs remain most important in determining the best relationship arrangement for each person.
Ultimately, these findings don’t just validate non-monogamous relationships—they invite us to question assumptions about relationships that we may have never examined. Perhaps satisfaction has less to do with relationship structure than with how well any relationship meets the unique needs of the people involved.
Source : https://studyfinds.org/non-monogamous-relationships-just-as-satisfying/
