An Indian-origin tech professional working in the US shared an emotional post after a personal tragedy left him questioning the cost of chasing life abroad.
An Indian-origin tech professional working in the United States has shared a deeply personal story about losing his mother while being unable to travel back to India because of visa-related delays. His post has started a wider conversation online about the emotional cost of living abroad on work visas.
Gautam Dey, who works in the US on an H-1B visa, wrote on LinkedIn that he could not reach India in time to see his mother during her final days as he struggled to get a visa stamping appointment. He described the experience as “the biggest regret of my life.”
He Shares His Mother’s Illness
In his LinkedIn post, Dey explained that he was speaking not as a software engineer or visa holder, but as a son dealing with grief. “Today I am writing this not as an engineer, not as an H-1B worker… I am writing this as a son,” he wrote.
According to Dey, his mother had been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and remained hospitalised for 17 days. During that time, he said he made repeated efforts to secure the required visa appointment so he could travel to India.
“My mother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. She was hospitalised for 17 days. During that time, I was desperately trying to get a visa stamping appointment so I could travel to see her,” he said.
Dey also shared details about his professional journey in the US. He said he moved there in 2007 after being hired by a multinational company for specialised software work.
“I did not come here to undercut anyone’s salary. I was brought in for my expertise to solve a serious software problem and fix vulnerabilities that needed attention,” he wrote.
Visa Delays Left Him Stuck
As his mother’s health continued to worsen, Dey said the immigration process left him trapped in a painful situation. He explained that leaving the US without securing the proper appointment carried serious risks.
According to him, travelling without a visa stamp could have left him stranded outside the country for months and affected both his job and his family’s legal status. “If I travelled without an appointment, I could be stuck outside the US for months. I could lose my job, my legal status, and my family’s status,” he wrote.
Dey said he tried continuously for nearly a month to secure an emergency appointment. “I sent hospital documents to the Consulate. I tried for 26 days to get an appointment. I refreshed, waited, prayed, and hoped. But time did not wait,” he wrote.
Despite those efforts, he could not make it back to India before his mother passed away. “I could only see her through a phone screen. I could only hear her voice over the phone. That will remain the biggest regret of my life,” he shared.
He Calls It An Impossible Choice
Dey described the situation as an impossible decision between being with his mother and protecting his family’s future in the US. “So I was forced into an impossible choice: Be with my dying mother. Or protect the future of my children. No human being should ever be placed in that position,” he wrote.
He also clarified that his post was not meant to attack any government or immigration system, but to highlight the emotional pressure many immigrants silently go through. “This is not a political post. This is not about blaming a country. This is about a human cost that is rarely spoken about,” he said.
At another point in the post, he reflected on how the dream of building a life abroad can sometimes leave people emotionally trapped. “But a dream should not become a cage at the moment your family needs you the most,” he wrote.
Dey also shared a message for young professionals who hope to move abroad for work. He urged them to think carefully before making life-changing decisions. “To every young professional dreaming of an H-1B life: please think carefully. India is changing… You do not have to measure success only by leaving home,” he wrote.
His post ended with an emotional line that struck many readers online. “Because no career dream should ever put you in a position where you must choose between your mother’s final moments and your children’s future. I lost that choice. And I will carry that pain forever.”
Many People Shared Similar Experiences
The post received emotional reactions from several users, many of whom said they had gone through similar situations while living abroad. A user wrote, “I was in tears after reading this post. So sorry for the impossible situation the world has put you in. Thank you for bravely sharing your story!”