Your brother covers your rent. Mom helps with groceries. Dad lends money for car repairs. These everyday exchanges add up to a hidden economy worth about $52 billion, and many families say it’s hurting their relationships.
More than half of respondents have borrowed money from friends or family, according to a new JG Wentworth survey of 1,267 people. While these informal loans can help during a crunch, they often come with a cost: nearly half say the arrangement caused serious conflicts, and three-quarters say they weren’t as close afterward.
With research showing U.S. credit-card balances at roughly $1.18 trillion in early 2025, it’s no surprise people look to loved ones for help. But mixing money and relationships can create problems that outlast the debt.
Who Respondents Ask for Money, and How Much They Borrow
When money gets tight, people most commonly turn to their family. In this survey, parents (77.7%), siblings (75.8%), and grandparents (75.7%) were the top sources; cousins (75.5%), aunts (73.7%), and uncles (73.4%) followed.
Friends barely registered at 2.8%, and romantic partners at 2.0%, underscoring how rarely people lean on non-family for cash.
Nearly half (48.3%) said they would be most likely to ask a family member for money with no expectation of repayment, but only 1.1% said they’d do the same with a friend. By contrast, 45.5% said they’d rather take out a formal loan or use credit than borrow from personal relationships.
On average, respondents reported borrowing $297 from friends or family, and still owing $237. About half (50.3%) of those with outstanding balances worry they won’t be able to repay in full.
When good intentions go wrong
The informal nature of many family loans leads to friction. Just over half of lenders (54.5%) reported having to ask more than once to be repaid. Nearly half (49.5%) never set a repayment timeline, and 49.9% never put the agreement in writing.
Without clear terms, many lenders lose money: 50.4% said they ended up out cash due to unpaid loans, whether partially or in full. The survey also suggests women may be slightly more inclined to forgive debts to preserve a relationship (57.7% vs 50.3% of men).
Some frustration ran so deep that 48.1% of lenders considered taking legal action, but ultimately decided against it.
The Relationship Damage Is Lasting
Among people who had borrowed or lent money, 46.6% said the experience caused serious arguments or conflicts; only 4.1% reported no problems.
Longer-term fallout was common:
- 75.1% said they were no longer as close as before,
- 71.3% said communication broke down for a while,
- 71.0% said the strain led to estrangement,
- 69.9% said it harmed their own financial well-being, and
- 69.1% said the relationship ended altogether.
When interest was discussed or charged, it averaged 3.21%, below typical credit-card rates but still an added stressor for already delicate situations.
