Though they face questions from family, they believe ‘having a baby just to meet their expectations would be selfish’.
A recent study has found that registered births in Karnataka have declined by 17 per cent since 2012. The reasons are varied — from falling fertility rates to limiting the number of children per family and a decline in marriages. But therapists and sociologists point to another reason — increasingly couples are choosing not to have children.
Avinash K and his wife Naina have been married for 10 years. After giving it serious thought early in their marriage, they decided against having children. “I thought about a realistic scenario — juggling my business and the responsibilities of being a parent. It did not appeal to me,” says Avinash, 40. The Lavelle Road-based couple has two dogs. When the dogs fall sick, Avinash finds it extremely stressful. “I cannot imagine what my stress levels would have been if I had kids,” he reasons. The duo also leads a very busy life due to their work and travel. “We do not want to compromise on that,” he adds.
Prakriti V was clear on her position even before marriage. “My husband and I shared the same perspective. We eventually told our families. Although some family members occasionally ask when we will start a family, we respond vaguely. I do not think we are obliged to justify our decision to anyone,” says the 37-year-old media professional.
The high cost of living in a tier-1 city, particularly steep school fees, was a significant factor in their decision. They are also concerned about bringing a child into a world facing severe climate change and uncertainty.
Zero restrictions
For others, like engineer Ankur M, the decision to be child-free was simply because he did not feel the need for a child to complete his family. “Earlier, my wife and I would cite the climate crisis, rising crimes against children, overpopulation, and the polarising times we live in as reasons. While all that still matters, the real reason is simple — we are happy and fulfilled as we are,” he shares.
Ankur’s wife, Samantha adds that they enjoy being outdoors and travelling. They rarely plan in advance. “But for parents, especially with young children, their free time usually revolves around the child’s needs and activities,” she says.
Though they face questions from family, they believe “having a baby just to meet their expectations would be selfish”. They do not worry about their future, but sometimes wonder if they would have to work longer to support themselves, when their peers retire.
Ayesha Khan, a 28-year-old ed-tech professional, took the decision because she does not want to face the physical and psychological toll of childbirth. “I helped raise my two younger siblings, so I do not think I will be missing out on parenthood,” she explains.
Lack of support
Sociologist Avatthi Ramaiah notes that in cities, it is becoming increasingly difficult to have children. With families becoming nuclear, parents lack a strong support system. The financial burden is a major deterrent. “A lot of couples are also delaying having children,” he says. As a result, he sees old age homes becoming the norm in the future.
Relationship therapist Sunil John has noticed an increasing number of his clients opting to be child-free. “In the last month, I had two new clients who have chosen to not have children,” he reveals.
