Henna nights, bold fashion and zero family drama: Pakistan’s fake weddings give young people the excuse to have stylish, stress-free parties devoid of social pressure.
The wedding stage looks inconspicuous at first glance: marigold-laden, with bright, cheery yellow tones adorning where the bride and groom sit.
It seems like a typical Pakistani mehndi — part of the country’s traditional three-day wedding festivities — yet a closer look reveals something unusual: the groom is a woman. This isn’t a same-sex marriage but a “fake wedding,” an organized event giving people the chance to get together and enjoy a spectacular night out free from social pressure.
Pakistan’s fake wedding trend, which has been gaining traction since 2023, replicates the aesthetics and festivities of a “real” wedding, but without the lifelong commitment or family pressures that usually define Pakistani marriages.
This type of event increased in popularity after a fake wedding organized by the Lahore University of Management Sciences (LUMS) in 2023 gained considerable national and global attention on traditional and social media.
Viral fake wedding triggers backlash
The media coverage caused a significant backlash and criticism alongside its increasing popularity among young people and influencers.
Sairam H. Miran, a former president of the LUMS Student Council, told DW that students at the university faced considerable “online abuse” after footage from the event went viral.
“There is a tendency that people and media focus more on LUMS as an elite university which is out of touch with reality that gets far more traction than any positive news about the same students,” said Miran.
“Just like in the rest of the world, it is possible for university students in Pakistan to have fun and excel at their core jobs at the same time.”
LUMS, like many other Pakistani universities, organizes weekly social events for students and believed that fake weddings provided a more traditional and socially-sanctioned space for celebration and fun.
However, following the backlash, the student council and university took several precautions to ensure students’ safety and privacy, such as not allowing influencers post on public pages.
“There were consequences for the admin who are answerable to donors and parents, and we students who did not consent to becoming viral faced problems with our families as well,” Zara*, a LUMS student who graduated in 2023, told DW.
“The groom didn’t face problems with his family but the bride’s family were very angry,” she added.
Zara asked DW not to use her real name due to negative consequences after footage from the fake wedding went viral.
Fake weddings as gendered safe spaces
Enjoying wedding festivities without societal pressure or the watchful eyes of family is exactly why these fake wedding events are so attractive — especially to women.
Rida Imran, founder of Hunar Creative Market, organized a collaborative women-only fake wedding with other artisans, artists, content creators and event managers in November.
Imran told DW that the mehndi event of a traditional Pakistani wedding, usually the first-day event of a typically three-day wedding, especially brings women together to apply henna, sing, dance and celebrate.
However, for most families, women are still under social pressure to behave in a non-boisterous way at weddings.
“Even though wedding celebrations are such an integral part of our culture and tradition, women still face a lot of scrutiny in how they act, look and celebrate,” said Imran.
“Having this women-only mehndi gave women the opportunity to enjoy the wedding without any social pressure or family scrutiny.”
Authenticity outshines Western wedding templates
Punjrush, a standup comedian and content creator who played the role of “bride,” shared that, as a single woman, she never imagined experiencing such a “drama-free wedding.” She usually feels there is tension between family members or pressures to follow social norms.
She added that the event felt like a “decolonizing moment,” since brand promotions and exhibitions follow a Westernized template, whereas Pakistan’s shaadi (wedding) culture is authentically South Asian.
In addition to authenticity, the sense of safety women feel at fake weddings stands in sharp contrast to other events in the country, such as raves and parties, which are often shadowed by uncertainty and safety concerns.
For example, in October 2024, police raided a Halloween party in Karachi, the capital of Pakistan’s Sindh province, an event widely circulated through news reports and social media and labeled as a “vulgar activity.” Many female attendees had their photos and videos leaked online, breaching their privacy.
According to Shifa Leghari, a journalist and social commentator, Pakistan’s fake weddings provide a much safer space for women without attracting suspicion from authorities or family members as it is a socially acceptable form of celebration.
“These events are also often ticketed or curated so they have controlled entry points and are very culturally appropriate, so people especially women are free to enjoy and men know to act respectfully as well as it is part of the culture of the wedding,” said Leghari.
A growing market for celebration
Within the industrial complex of Pakistani weddings, fake weddings have carved out a considerable niche, yet there is speculation about whether this trend fuels the ever-expanding lavish wedding industry or provides an alternative market outside the mainstream.
Pakistan’s wedding ecosystem — including venues, catering, designer fashion, jewelry, photography and makeup artists — is estimated to be worth at least 900 billion Pakistani rupees (€2.7 billion/$3.2 billion) annually.
Some organizers of fake weddings argue that rather than toeing the line, they provide alternative standards, ideas, vendors and services as they are based on creativity rather than a “copy-paste style” of most traditional weddings.
Source : https://www.dw.com/en/fake-weddings-in-pakistan-signal-a-cultural-shift/a-75130128
