If you’re a parent, you may have breathed a sigh of relief – or perhaps frustration – at the UK government’s plans to implement an overnight social media curfew for 16 and 17-year-olds.
It would see apps such as Instagram, TikTok and YouTube made unavailable by default to the teenagers – though they will be able to opt out of the curfew if they want.
Features the government considers addictive such as auto-play videos and infinite scrolling will also be disabled under the plans, aimed at improving teenagers’ focus, sleep quality and family life.
We asked some parenting experts for their tips on how to pry those phones away from their offspring’s hands – even if only for a short while.
1. Start small and be realistic
Many parents who have already given their children tablets or smartphones might wonder if the best thing is to just get rid of them. But that might not be the most productive option, believes child psychologist Dr Jane Gilmour.
“Changing a habit is always going to be hard,” she says. Instead, she recommends implementing changes at a neutral moment, not in the heat of an argument about screen time. “Calm brains communicate best.”
A good first step to reducing screen time could be designating a set place in the home for devices, such as a particular cupboard.
“Have one place for chargers… so when the phones go away, they go on the charger and that’s it.”
2. Be collaborative
Older children and teenagers can benefit from being part of the conversation around screen time, rather than having rules imposed on them, says child psychologist Dr Maryhan Baker.
Acknowledging the peer pressure surrounding social media can help get teens onside, she says, such as telling them: “I understand that that’s where you connect with your friends. I understand the social pressure if you’re deemed not to be on this. I really get it.
“So let’s have a conversation about how we can begin to create space within our day, and your day where you’re not on that phone all of the time.”
Parenting coach Olivia Edwards adds that building a strong connection with your child or teenager will make it easier to regulate screen use.
“We have to have a strong relationship with our child because that is what’s going to get us towards co-operation [and] teamwork.”
This could include taking a genuine interest in the content your child consumes online.
3. Turn screen time into learning opportunities
Many parents feel they’re struggling to keep up with the rapidly changing fads and trends on social media. But there is an opportunity for both adults and children to learn from each other through frank discussions about screen time.
Olivia says: “You might say something like: ‘How do you think social media works? How do you think that app works to keep people looking at it? Did you know they make money off the more time people spend on it?'”
Jane also says parents can teach their children digital literacy in a hands-on way. “There might be content that you can look at together and say, ‘OK, do you think that that is true? How would I figure out if that’s true or not?'”
4. Model good behaviour
It’s no secret that children mimic their parents, so encouraging good screen habits in them might have to start with some self reflection.
Maryhan encourages a light-hearted approach to this. “Even if we just do a slightly self-deprecating conversation with our kids, like: ‘We’re all guilty of this, I’m not as great on my relationship with [my phone] as I could be.'”
Phones and tablets have provided people of all ages with an ever-present source of entertainment, but Jane says that both adults and children could benefit from embracing boredom a bit more.
“Being on the screen, it keeps us looking at the external world. When we go into our internal world and we sort of stare into space, into the middle distance, it allows us to think about the past, it allows us to visualise the future, it predicts creativity.
“So when your kids are protesting [that] there’s nothing to do, they’re just staring into space – that’s OK. And actually that’s a positive thing.”
5. Don’t panic
Parenting has never been easy, but raising children in a time where screens are everywhere, while we are still learning how they affect us, can be very worrying.
Dr Tony Sampson, a reader in digital communication at the University of Essex, says parents shouldn’t fall into the trap of moral panic.
“There is a tendency for anxious parents to become caught up in a prevailing media panic and see all adolescent brains as simply hardwired for social media addiction,” he says.
